Funny Proverbs

An apple a day keeps the doctor away : Never heard it from a doctor.

A drowning man will clutch at a straw : And do what? Breathe through it? PEOPLE!! He’s drowning. A straw is not going to help him. Neither is this proverb.

A friend in need is a friend indeed : It’s always the other way round. I get to be the friend, who goes out to help someone in need. I am indeed a true friend. But when I am in need, neither these proverb, nor the mentioned friend is to be found!!

A golden key can open any door : I would like to get my hands on that one. Cause am planning to loot the bank soon!!

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step : Of course it does. Even an astronaut travelling to mars has to “step in to” the space craft.

A new broom sweeps clean : Our housemaid is on leave, and yes, our new broom is doing her job great!!

A penny saved is a penny earned : Corollary : Only an earned penny can be saved. So it’s a never ending loop.

A stitch in time saves nine : Keep on stitching, you misers. Do you even know that your shirt has turned rags!!

You can’t have your cake and eat it : As bloody hell!! I’ve earned it. And am going to eat it. Do what you may.

Tomorrow is another day : This person wanted to say something. But due to lack of something new to say, said, “tomorrow is another day”. I would add, “yesterday was just another day.” And some one else would say, “Today is a new day”. And that would fill up the english proverbs book.

There’s one born every minute : You have to scrap this one. India has already proved this one to be too inconsistent and behind times.

The pen is mightier than sword : Huh!! Ever tried dueling with a pen in hand?

Necessity is the mother of invention : And invention is the mother of all mess-up.(I was tempted to use the word F#*kup. But this is a child safe blog)

Love is blind : True. Cause I have heard people falling in love.

It’s the early bird that catches the worm : I have experienced this. An early bird catches the slimmest,thinnest worm. They keep the best for last.

A bird in hand is worth two in bush : This one really holds you back from setting new targets and achieving new goals. Never spell out this one in an MBA class.

If anything can go wrong, it will : This one came first or the Murphy’s law?

He who laughs last laughs longest : Let him!! It took him some time to understand the joke.

Great minds think alike : Well yes, Gandhi, Alfred Noble, Adolf Hitler.

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die : Somebody who just said, “tomorrow is another day”, didn’t hear this one I guess.

Women and children first : The film titanic was based on this sentence.

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