Aug 132014

We got our first Television in the 80s and were instantly hooked to it. Soaps, epics, news, films, sports and such proved to be thrilling and entertaining. But of all these, advertisements captured our imagination the most. 20 seconds of quick burst of the most vividly colorful, imaginative and sometimes, unknown to us, fake entertainment. At times, a film would be so boring that we would be waiting for the Ads to be played for some relief. All said, after many improvements in their bathing products and teeth cleaning pastes, my body still stays brown, my teeth are going bit yellowish. Yet each year, they come up with more improved products with additional “salts”, “Lemon” etc. All that remains to be added is some Tequila and we are all set. They are moving towards that direction by coming up with a “beer” shampoo.


As technology changed so did change the methods of advertisement. They have upgraded from television to the web space (it’s the space on the webpage, intentionally kept empty for filling in the Ads) and even downgraded to illegal handbills posted on the insides of the railway cars, buses,……., ……, Public Toilets,…….. etc. All said, they have yet to upgrade their rationality, thoughtfulness, inter divisional coordination for the same company. Knowingly or unknowingly to them, or for some reasons unknown to me, they have come up with a competition of its kind, between two products from their own stables. And now are are going through the period of exclusive launches(launch of a product through one single distributor seller as against launch through multiple distributors, so as to create a hype, control the supply and show a pseudo-shortage due to exhausted stock)

I frequently scan the internet for good deals on various products and I happened to chance upon two “Exclusive” launches, one on Flipkart and another on Amazon India. Both the tablets are form Acer. Branded Iconia. One model A1 and another B1. Both exclusive launches but on different websites. And the advertisement for A1 says “why settle for B1 when you can go for A1”. Funny!!



Whether this campaign is created by Acer or by the individual online stores(in which case such an aggressive advertisement is justified) is unknown. The price difference is just Rs. 500 so I do not understand pitching both the Tablets at the same time.

Check the specifications comparison here.

This reminds me of formula one races where two drivers from the same team are allowed to compete against each other and ultimately it leads to a collision course.

BTW if you are interested to buy any of these two icons, they are available on Flipkart and on Amazon India

Mar 282014

The smelly kind. Where do you find them you said?

Well, you don’t. If you are in Mumbai, and you travel suburban, they find you……….

It happens in the evening. The maddening crowd while entering the trains. The struggle to get the foothold while in it. Juggling between hand straps  above to get into a proper posture to avoid a slip disc. An between all this, trying to get a breathe of fresh air. That, if you are the lucky Bacchan category person, towering above all the lesser fortunate ones.

But no matter what you do, or how tall you are, your nose is designed to appreciate fragrances, and dissent smells in larger magnitude. Smells which emanates from the the sweaty wet bodies of the lesser fortunate surrounding you. Its out of no choice that their bodies smell, given the pitiful condition  in which we travel in Mumbai.

But what happens when you get that sweat musky body odour indicating an un bathed body right at the start of the day.

This was a regular routine when I used to sit with an educational mate(I refrain from specifying school/college/university as it might offend him/her, cause it may become ovbious who it was). I used to dab my body with lot of fragrant talc(deo sprays were not on my items possessed list in those days) so as to avoid the odour, but the odour would ultimately overpower my delicately fragrant lavander talc. And to top it up, my colleague would come with a bad breathe indicating that there was no brushing activity since birth.

The only way I would could avoid this was by turning my face just enough to keep my nose out of the persons vicinity, holding breathe all the while the person talked. The bad breathe and the unbathed body smells would mix together and create a destroyer envelope around that person, and I would invariably end up into that envelope. For the sake of not hurting that person, and partly because the person was a class bully, I never complained the smell and would remind myself of Jagjit Singh’s song with a verse “if this is living, we shall live in this manner”

When I used to watch movies showing people fainting in the vicinity of foul body odour, I used to feel that things were over exaggerated. Today, as I write this down, remembering the episode of my life, I would say that I had been on the verge of collapsing many a times. The year ended and my ordeal was over since that person failed and had to stay back, engulfing some other unfortunate person within the envelope of distruction.

Very recently, I encountered another person in my train with almost similar problem. It so happened that I couldn’t sit in the regular seating area where I sat daily on the train. I sat next to another person who frequents that train. As I sat, I got the nostalgic feeling of seating on the classroom bench with my old chum. I immediately started my search for any vacant seat nearby area, but all was full. I had to endure that “nostalgia” all throughout my journey that day. Never after that did I sit near that person. Infact I avoid generally going in to the direction that the person sits.

This blog is an entry for whats the smell, boss? indiblogger contest.

Whats the smell, boss?
Apr 062012

After the onslaught from the politicians in India, renaming everything in sight to gain political mileage, it’s the turn of our past rulers, the Britain to follow(for once, other countries are following us)

All the 361 London tube stations have been renamed after the past and present great sportspersons of the olympic games. A rare and bold feat, ahead of the opening of the 30th games on 27th July this year. Legends like Muhammad Ali, Michael Phelps, Carl Lewis, Magic Johnson, Michael Jordan, Nadia Comaneci figure in this list.

The point of interest for us Indians is the inclusion of 3 great players of Indian hockey, Dhyan Chand, Roop Chand and Leslie Walter Claudius. Dhyan Chand, Hockey ka Jyadugar( the wizard of hockey), is a well known name in Indian households. Anecdotes about how he was asked to change the hockey stick during a game, fearing that it had some kind of magnetic power in it, are well known. We even had a lesson in our hindi text, entirely dedicated to him. I remember the name Roop Chand referred in some context, I think in one of the Kaun Banega Crorepati episode. But I am not sure. I definitely did not hear about Leslie Walter Claudius. After reading about his exploits in the Olympic games, I was surprised that I read the name for the first time. Or maybe it’s me who is ignorant. And the worst of all, I didn’t know the details about their exploits. Nor did I try to find out, with wikipedia being at hand. Such is the pitiful state of the knowledge of our national game among the current generation. I hate cricket, for being a bat-centric game. I always feel that hockey is being neglected by the current generation. I myself do not take much interest in watching the game. Hockey has been neglected. I believe, or have been led to believe that the team is being mis-managed.

It is heartening to find out that the people who were left mesmerized by the great Indian sportsmen, have not forgotten them. The gesture of renaming the stations is really sporting and I hope that the inclusion of Indian names will rekindle the flame for Hockey amongst the youth of India.

Read Details : The Times of India

Mar 192012

My lord, I rise before you in defense of my client, though he has not signed me up. I ask you to grand me special permission to defend my client who has been labeled with lot of names since about a year, but has remained silent bearing the torments. It was the humble opinion of my client that answering or back answering his tormentors would have given enough fuel to the fire and it would have been difficult to silence them. He chose to remain silent but I refuse to bear this injustice. I will defend him, as I know he has done no wrong.

Thank you my lord.

I begin with the backdrop for this defense. My client has been playing this game for a long time. In-fact, the longest anyone has ever played. He has earned himself a fame, which other players would envy for. Any child who lifts a bat in his hand yearns to be as famous as my client. In-fact, people have been so obsessed by his style, elegance, success in batting that they have altogether neglected the other avenue of expertise, bowling as I had mentioned in one of my previous case. Nothing wrong in trying to be him. That instills a passion and love for this game which is a necessity is we need a quality batsman. Of course, that hampers the development of a good bowler, but that’s besides point today and my client has no hand in this unbalance.

Then there came time when my client was compared with God. My client, humble as ever, rejected such a title, knowing fully well the enormous responsibilities that came with it. He kept on stating that he was a mere creation of God. But the general public did not give up. They even compared him with the great batsman of yesteryears, and one such players, who has been very successful during his times, managed to see his own image in my client. People relentlessly decorated him with titles like the little master, the master blaster etc. The latest of it being “The Centurion”. My client finally accepted that the people had their own way of showering affection and gave up. Still I would state for the record that neither of this titles have been given to my client on his request, or acquired by any illegal means.

But off-late my client has been on the receiving end of the public wrath. People have tried o tarnish his image in whichever way possible. This has happened due to certain events a year back.

As you might very well know, a player scoring a 100 runs in a single inning of a match, gets it recorded as a century against his name. My client has been master at it. His technique, concentration, game flow has been very good all through this years. He has managed to suppress all the batting records of this game and raised the bar to a level, very much difficult for any current player. He has done it during past 22 years of his career playing this game. Yes my lord, 22 years, that’s how long he has been playing. No other player has managed such a feat during their times. The above fact highlights the fitness levels of my client for such a long period. Others have played and weathered. Not my client. He makes himself available.

But some elements in the society seem to be against my client playing the game. It all began about a year back when my client scored the 99th century of his career. It was very much anticipated at that time that he would score the 100th one, the century of the century, very soon. But my client had failed to do so until very recently. This has led to a public backlash against him, humiliating him in public media, without giving due consideration to all that he has done for his country. I try to defend him on three grounds, Social, Psychological and Statistical.

If you have a superhero in front of you, you tend to have high expectations from him. This happened with my client. My first line of defense presents him as merely a victim of social expectations. As the public elevated him to the  level of God, their expectations rose high. It was expected from him to score larger amount of runs each time he took to crease. He was just human and he demonstrated that, though not willingly or voluntarily, by making a low score in number of matches. It went unnoticed each time since along the way he kept on reaching some milestone or the other, which kept the general public engaged. He wanted to pile runs for the team. They wanted milestones. There were many centuries along the way but after the 99th one, people focused on the next milestone, the 100th. It was obvious that people had this as the target, and the human, my client, flunked number of times in trying to reach the target. Meanwhile the public discounted  his failure hoping that he would succeed in the next game. This expectation was then served by media the way they treat hot news. Spiced up and peppered. Along with this they added a zing of a news which hinted to his retirement after his 100th. My client initially neglected this and went along with his game, scoring runs as they came by. But the expectations gradually were converted to taunts, then anger and finally full blown hatred against my client. Every match was treated as being scheduled for his century and every failure was treated as incompetency on his part. Children who didn’t know how to clean their nose, started commenting on how “that particular delivery” should have been played by my client. Whenever my client came close to scoring hundred, people started taking note of the exact number of balls “wasted”. Commentators meanwhile added fuel to public anger when they replayed the delivery again and again and analyzed how my client should have played it successfully. They forgot that as against the comforts of their air-conditioned cabin, my client as standing in that sweltering heat, in a noisy stadium where concentration was easy to lose. Finally they decided that it was time for my client to retire and well known sportsmen and analystsstated that his age was preventing him from going any further. They compared his fitness with their fitness at his age. Little did they know that my client follows a very strict fitness regime. The ghosts from the closet came out saying that my client scoring a century was a bad omen for our country and we rarely won. This is untrue my lord, as will be proven by me further. I would just like to state here that the society raised the bar for him a bit too high, and though no one amongst them have ever reached there, they expected my client to conquer it each time.

My second line for defense revolves around the psychological effect on my client. My client was well aware of the public expectations and though he very much wanted to fulfill them each time, he was and always will be of the opinion that he should play his natural game and success will come along. He has done it all throughout his life successfully. He knew that the century of he century was looming nearby but did not want to haste it as it would adversely affect the performance of the team. He played the game ball by ball during last one year and came close to the target set by people number of times. And failed to reach it. But people did not notice his score. People noticed his lost opportunity. And they kept on counting them. Then their expectations grew very high and that was voiced through media. My client duly noted it and knew time was ripe to bring joy to the people. But as he has rightly said, he is not God. So the opponents who were stronger managed to defeat him on number of occasions. The ghosts from the closet came out again saying that all his previous records were of no use to the country and he played for his own selfish motives and so on and blah blah. My client did not respond. He knew better. But this did get on to him a number of times. He decided to just get over with it by hook or crook and again failed at it number of times. The last time he got close to the public expectations, he decided that enough was enough and played the slowest game of his life. He finally managed to achieve what public wanted but at a price. A price which later cost our team the match. Naturally, people again pointed out that his “centuries” meant no good to the team. Maybe it was time for him to retire, they said. It was expected that his centuries alone should be match winners. Little did they realize that there are 10 more players in the team who have to perform. Winning the game is a team effort, not an individual one.

My third line of defense focuses on pure statistics. Just take the case of his centuries. Hundred of them in-fact. It is normally said that each time he scores, our team loses. Untrue. He has scored 51 centuries in tests. Of which we won 20, have drawn 20, lost 11. Is that too bad? Out of 49 centuries that my client has scored, the team has won and amazing 34 times. We have lost 13 times, tied once and had no result once. If I may take the liberty, I recollect many lost matched where he has scored but the entire team has failed to support him. So why blame him for their failure? There is also an unverified fact floating around that my client scores only against weak teams. Let’s get this straight. He has scored the best against the strong teams. His highest number of centuries is against Australia, Sri Lanka, South Africa, England, New Zealand, Zimbabwe, West Indies, Pakistan in that order. The last time I checked, these were very strong teams. There are many other statistics to reveal, all which will point to the high level of integrity, competency and fitness of my client. It will take a lot of the courts time to reveal then, but if required, they will be presented.

I request your honor to pass an order preventing the general public and the special “experts” from harassing my client into retirement. This will be a big loss for the team and the country. His selection in the team will always depend on sole discretion of the selectors. Similarly, his retirement should he his decision. He will be available whenever his country demands such and will not bow to cheap mudslinging. I have utmost respect for your judiciary wisdom and expect that you will pass a favorable verdict.

I rest my case…….

Feb 012012

I love formatting. No, I don’t like formatting documents to create a well structured good looking one. I like formatting electronic equipment. I’ve been at it since about 10 years. I like trying out new things on computing devices and my computer gave up on me after enduring about 8 years of rough use, but the hard drive still doesn’t feel the pain twice a month formatting(on an average). Then it was turn of my laptop to enter the formatting cycle. Hell!! I have even upgraded my television(though not actually formatting, but the odds that the power might switch right at the moment the T.V. is updating the firmware and I may end up rendering it useless, are high). Then there is my phone, my beloved Samsung Wave which has endured some formatting cycles for upgrade from BADA 1.2 to 2.0, then back to 1.2 then again to 2.0.

But that’s another tale. It’s human nature. I love formatting and there’s no correctional facility to cure me of this.

The day was yesterday and I suddenly felt the urge to format my phone(actually  to prepare it for latest upgrade from samsung). During the process, I bricked it!!(When a phone is said to be bricked, there is little hope for its revival at home, and if you don’t get it repaired at a service center, you should use it as a brick to hit someone. Or may be use it in the masonry work when you renovate your house. Hence the term, “BRICKED”).

Today I went in search of a service center, though I was doubtful I would find one in my home town. Miraculously, I found one brand new service center, almost accidently, and walked in without a second thought. I handed over the phone and sat near the counter, unmindful of anyone else’s business. Especially that of the person who was having an argument with the customer service center employee. I tried not to listen, but the word format did fall on my ears. The employee asked the person to sit in the waiting area and check the phone properly.

The man returned after few minutes, complaining that the phone was slow while operation. The service man came out of his cabin explaining that this was due to the memory card. He said that there was a virus transferred from other phone via bluetooth and this normally occurs in phones with memory card and bluetooth. The man digested it. I did not. But the man had come to a service center for simply formatting his phone, so why judge him. Neither did I want to lose my precious knowledge explaining the service center employee or the person with the phone about phone viruses.

A few minutes later the person came back again, complaining that even though the phone was formatted, there was still one message left on it. The employee at the counter stated that it might have just arrived. On this the man showed him the message and it was few days old. The man was right on his part saying that whenever a phone is formatted all files get deleted. The employee simply deleted the file and stated that ……..

“………Sometimes even after formatting, few files remain on phone. It is common” .

The man digested it. After all, the service center employees were supposed to know everything that is to be known about a phone.

I couldn’t digest it. A knot of fear developed in tummy. I could see through the window of the service area. My phone was already opened up and being checked by the another employee.

They have asked me to come back tomorrow. I am sure to have a sleepless night. After all, this is the first time that I have witnessed a stubborn message left on the phone even after formatting it.

Nov 062011

We have shortage of everything. Food, money, workforce, time. But as per one article that appeared on, the might U.S. had to face a shortage of a very important equipment in life. Toilet papers!! I don’t understand how they went about their business during that time.


Check out the link.

Meanwhile few important events which can be related to this shortage occurred during this period.

  • Australia beats USA in Cleveland in davis cup(5-0). The US surely had other things on mind apart from winning this cup.
  • Pioneer 10 reaches Jupiter. They had to find an alternate to this toilet paper shortage. And that too quickly, no matter what the cost. Jupiter seemed to be the final frontier.
  • Paul McCartney releases "Band on the Run" album. The shortage did seem to have some effect even on the U.K. Were they running to the stores or running away from the americans, can be clarified when and if I listen to this album.
  • Bahrain’s constitution goes into effect. The US was not looking. They had other things on mind.
  • Wings release "Band on the Run". See!! Everyone was running. I need to listen to this too.
  • "Seesaw" closes at Uris Theater NYC after 296 performances. The smell in the theatre was overpowering. They needed a scanner to keep unclean behinds out of the theatre.
  • US kidnap victim Paul Getty III freed. The kidnappers demand of a million pieces of toilet paper rolls were met with.
  • Soyuz 13 launched into Earth orbit for 8 days. Fearing a similar shortage in the soviet union, they went on a lookout for an alternate.
  • Israel, Egypt, Syria, Jordan, US & USSR meet in Geneva. A solution to the worldwide scare about this shortage was the agenda of this meeting. Mossad was already onto it and had few leads.
  • 6 Persian Gulf nations double their oil prices. The price of toilet papers was skyrocketing, so they had to get some money in their economy.
  • District of Columbia Home Rule Act is passed. The home rule act specified the number of toilet paper rolls which could be procured and possessed by a family depending on the number of family members, age and the amount of food consumption per month.
  • Soyuz 13 returns to Earth. The soviets had a solution. But they would not reveal yet.

Later the soviets revealed that the answer was in India. Water!! But the US would not accept such a solution and went about building new factories which would roll out millions and millions of toilet papers every day. The shortage was over but the cost to keep these factories running was quite high. So they starting invading oil rich countries in one guise or the other to earn some extra money and thus keep their toilet paper factories running. Also such wars required huge amount of arms and ammunitions which gave rise to another booming business in america. Manufaturing arms and ammunitions.

So now you know. The US wades war in other countries to keep their toilet paper factories running.

Jul 162011

Of late I had been feeling that my bike’s mileage was reducing day by day. Few months back I had some problems with my bike’s fuel tank, but that had been rectified then. So I wondered whether the problem had crept again. Initially I used to run my bike for a whole week on petrol worth 100 rs. My daily bike usage was fixed, in the sense that I used it twice a day to commute from one place to another. But with this fixed usage, I couldn’t finish the week anymore. It was one day short, then two days short. Now It barely crossed half a week since about two weeks back. I was contemplating sending the bike for repairs.

Today while filling up the tank at the pump, I realised where I had been wrong. Previously I used to get about 2 litres of petrol for rs. 1oo. Now it doesn’t  even touch 1.5 litres mark.

My bikes mileage is ok. The mileage of our currency has gone down. We need to overhaul our monetary system.

Jul 032011

It would be a win-win situation. I wouldn’t have to work all day, to earn my daily bread. For a change, politician(read one Ms. M. Gandhi) would be fighting for my cause. And the government would be proposing penalty in its Animal Welfare Bill, 2011, for any cruelty meted on to me. Just so that I live a carefree and an unbothered life.

This article in The Times of India is enough to explain such a wise wish by me. With me being any animal, and the proposed law being passed, I wouldn’t have to worry about lots of things, which are in my head right now.  I could be anyone’s pet, or could work in a circus, or be a washer man’s donkey, or even be a regular street/forest animal. My rights would be protected by this law. It would be such a fun roaming around, oblivious of the cruel treatment being given to the wretched mankind.

And to think that they lots of laws protecting their rights. The only difference being that they still wouldn’t have anyone fighting for their cause(except maybe for that Anna someone). It’s funny isn’t it. The people of this world vote in to power those people, who would care less for them, but more for my kind.

And still better, if our kind indulge in some cruel treatment to mankind, there would be no such law punishing us. We are free to do whatever we do the best.

Apr 292011

All those Harry Potter fans out there, who find the films to be to short to learn witch craft and spells, rejoice. You can be a wizard in no time, with some dedication and efforts. The spells and all their effects are detailed here. Learn them to ward off all the evil in your life.


Please do not use any spell on the weak and the meek of your society. That’s against Muggle rights and you could be jailed for that. And please do not use Avada Kedavra unless it is extremely necessary.

Disclaimer : The author of this post, Wikipedia and J.K. Rowling holds not responsibility for wrong use of these spells. Improper use of spells, resulting in loss of life, damage to property or human body, should not be blamed upon us. As you see, we supply only the spells which are already being used, and not the wand.

Feb 122011

How many times did you wake up in the middle of the night, sweating? It’s 2 o’clock in the night and you can’t figure out what happened. And a realisation through a weak memory dawns upon you, that it’s a dream. The details of which you can’t remember because you woke up with a start. No matter how hard you scratch the brain, it won’t reveal your dream at that moment. You sleep again and in the course of the day, you get some weak images of your dreams. But it gets difficult to recollect and piece together the exact scenario.

But sometimes, the dreams are remembered the moment you wake up. Such dreams, stay engraved on your memory, for a lifetime.

Dream would have been an unaccepted phenomenon in this world, had it been experienced by a select few. But it has never been a subject of taboo. That’s because, everyone dreams. And I am speaking about those particular incidents that happen while one is asleep. There are other forms of dreams, like the day dream of a person who does no work. Or even the dream of making it big in this world. But the dream I speak of, occurs when a human being enters the state of sub-consciousness, while resting, exploring the unexplored section of mind.


Everyone dreams. Everyone wishes of sweet dreams. Few times, you have them. But most of the times, you have nightmares!! Such kind of dreams will always relate to the happenings around you, or all over the world. This is because, a section of the brain stores in to itself, what you want to forget. And when you attain the subconscious state, the rascal part of your brain, plays this trick of rewinding the tape of your thoughts, and replaying them, at the exact moment you have attained a deep slumber. But this is scientific stuff, and I dare not divulge deep, given my poor knowledge of the subject.

Anyway, sweet or nasty, those dreams which stay in to your memories, are hilarious most of the times. Sometimes you feel shy to reveal to others your funny dreams. But it does no harm. Here of some of mine :

This one, I dreamt(I mean the rascal part of my brain rewound this one) when I was a kid, may be about 5 years old. My grandmother had told us a story about how a tiger had wandered into our village and killed one of the women, before being captured(or killed it think it was, I don’t remember that part). That night I dreamt that I had just come out of our house on to a veranda, which was at a small height and had three steps to it on one side. I saw a tiger sleeping some distance away from the house. Seeing it asleep, I jumped down from the veranda to take a closer look. The noise of my footsteps, woke him up, and I was terrified. I knew that the steps were on the other side so my only chance was to climb up on the veranda from where I was standing, as quickly as possible. I tried, but the height of the veranda was too much for me. I saw behind, the tiger was on it’s feet but not moving. I took a step towards the stairs, keeping my eyes on the tiger continuously. It took one step towards me. I stopped, fearing an attack, and it stopped in it’s place. Time went by and it did not move. I took another step ahead, and it did the same. I got a weird feeling about this, and just to check out a doubt in my mind, I took a step back. It took a step back too. I tried it a couple of times, and the tiger did exactly what I did. I felt that there was no end to it, and didn’t want to be stuck in that position for ever. So I cried for help to my Mom. And my mom woke me up, asking me what was wrong and why was I shouting. The scene in that dream are still very fresh in my mind.

During the course of my life, I dreamt many more of them, some pleasant , but most of them nasty ones. Many of them had had the theme of exams. Many a times it has occurred in my dreams that I wake up late on the day of any important exam, and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t get myself to hurry up. And in the middle of all this frantic exercise of getting to the exam hall on time, I check my watch(in dream) just to find that it’s already time for the second paper of the day. And I am nowhere near the exam centre. These are the dreams which I get more frequently. When I wake up in the middle of them, I feel glad that it was just a dream, and I still have enough hours left for sleep. Of course, for the fear of getting up late in real life, I can’t sleep anymore.

Here is another gem. This was on my first ship. Now, during our training period, it is engraved upon us that it is a sacred duty of a junior engineer on a ship to be down in the bilges of the engine room, checking out how the pipelines flow, and keeping the bilges clean. The bilge is projected as the most horrifying place on a ship. It is the lowermost portion of the engine room, where there is limited access for mankind. On old ships it feels like the pipes are routed more with the purpose of blocking the access to the bottom floor of the engine room. It gets very dark down there when the electrical engineer on the ship decides not to change the constantly fusing light bulbs in that portion. Anyway, on my first ship I dreamt that, I was sent to the bilges of the engine room to check something, and I went to the aft most portion(the back portion of the engine room) where the propeller shaft rotates and goes out to the sea. At the precise moment that I went down, the power went off, and the ship blacked out. I couldn’t see anything. I had placed my torch on the ground, and to retrieve it, I squatted down(least the propeller shaft hit my head) and begun my frantic search of the torch on the soft, spongy engine room floor. I couldn’t find it, and I panicked. And in this state of panic, I woke up in my cabin which was completely dark. I didn’t know that I was out of the dream, and I started feeling suffocated(Amazing isn’t it? You can’t see air, but you need light to breathe it properly). I tried to reach sideways(I didn’t get up, least I bang my head on the shaft above) to find something to hold to. But all I felt was soft panel of the walls. Then I calmed myself. Soft floor, soft walls…….I was in my cabin, not in the bilges. I was relieved, and slept a peaceful sleep then on. I did get those bilge dream once or twice after that.

In the state of dream, you become helpless. It becomes impossible to lift your arms, you can’t breathe properly, an elephant may as well be squatting on your chest. And if in this subconscious state you do manage to move your limbs, you are bound to wake up with a jerk, because, the limb which you have lifted up, does not defy gravity forever. Also, there may be other things you want to do during a dream, but it becomes physically(or virtually) impossible to do them.

This one I had very recently. I was roaming around in my neighborhood, when all of a sudden, I heard a big roar from above. I looked to the skies, and saw a very big and beautiful, red plane very close above.(If ever I dream of planes, I would love to dream of those shiny white ones with red engines.) So this plane was moving very slowly, just above me, and I noticed that it was a very different kind of plane, with three very big engines, and a small cabin area. As it keeps on moving slowly, I realised that it had just taken off from an airfield, and I was surprised that they have constructed an airfield near our house. Suddenly I realised that the plane was going to hit the electric pole in front of it. I think the pilot realised the same at that precise moment, and lifted it’s nose to take it above and avoid the pole. But the destiny of the plane was written, and the tail wing did hit the pole, and ripped off. The plane went very high up in the sky, and then started coming down, nose first, to crash in a field not far away. A tragedy, which could not be averted anymore, was to happen. And the mourning would began soon. But for now, it was time to shoot this and upload it to you tube, and become famous. I pulled out my Samsung wave, and pressed the button to start the camera. That bloody thing took like hours to start.(See, I told you, some things become impossible to achieve in dreams, when you most need to do them.) I started the recording just moments before the impact, and then I couldn’t get the bloody thing to stay stable in my hands. My hands were shaking, making it impossible to record the good quality, impact video, that I was hoping to get. I was planning to go to the crash site and record some good videos(the rescue operation would be carried out by others who would arrive soon), precisely at which moment, I woke up.

All I wanted to do at that moment was to go back to sleep, and complete the video.

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